Bullies prey on people who they think are different, loners, scared or quiet.
The most defining moment for me was when LaNiyah was in pre-k. That morning I dropped LaNiyah off at school. On this particular morning we entered into her class room and a female classmate approached her, she’d still had on her coat and backpack. She then said "LaNiyah, do I look pretty today?" LaNiyah who was embarrassed that I was standing there looked at me and then said to her "Yes, (name) you are beautiful," after that she took off her coat and backpack and proceeded to her desk. I was stoked because; she needed that validation before she could even start her day.
That moment set something in me that was so loud and clear that it bothered me all day. It made me happy that LaNiyah said the right thing to her but wow.... it really made me think about how beneficial it is to start instilling confidence into your children from the time they are born.
I thought to myself, am I doing the right thing with my child? Does she ask these same questions of her peers when I'm not around? How does she really view herself? I know that since LaNiyah was able to talk and understand we've always told her how beautiful she was, hugged, kissed and allowed her to be herself.
But I felt like I had to step up my game more so my child wouldn’t have to seek validation from others.
I'm sure you all know and understand that as parents we have to teach and raise our children in a way that it's enjoyable for them and create an openness in where they can talk to us about anything. We don’t want them to learn these things in the street, it starts at home.
I'd like to share a few self-esteem building techniques with you.
- LaToya "Toyiah Marquis" White
The below portion is courtesy of: Building Self-Confidence In Children
Young children tend to hear things like:
- Put that down!
- Stop doing that!
- Stop hitting your sister!
- Don’t throw the ball in the house!
- If you do that one more time I’m going to…
- I like the way you helped set the table for dinner.
- Thank you for playing nicely with your sister/brother.
- I appreciate how you picked up your toys and put them away.
- I like the way you made your bed all by yourself.
- Thank you for helping me fold the laundry.
- I appreciate how well you behaved at the store today.
Children need to be allowed to make age-appropriate choices and decisions, such as deciding what outfit they’ll wear or what they want to eat for breakfast or lunch, as well as helping with chores and responsibilities in the home, in order to learn how to deal with the consequences of their decisions.
- Would you like to wear the blue outfit or the red one today?
- Would you like peanut butter and jelly or a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch?
- Would you like to clean the kitchen or clean the bathroom?
- Would you like to mow the yard or sweep the sidewalk?
- Would you like vegetable soup or chili for dinner tonight?